Dark Souls 2: Top Ten Weapons

After listing my ten favorite weapons of Dark Souls, it is time to jump into some truly great weapon design. This list was actually way harder than I expected it to be. There are so many interesting and unique weapon designs in Dark Souls 2 that narrowing it down to only ten was rough. Before any of you neckbeards call me out, this is mostly a list based solely on aesthetics (a couple I mention other stuff, but still…). Stats are largely irrelevant, I don’t care which one will PvP the best, or kill King Vendrick the fastest. So without further adieu:

10. The Handmaiden’s Ladle

Soup m’lady?

From Software knows how to troll their players. From absurd difficulty to invisible weapons rings tied to challenges(no bonfire & no death) From has trolled many players throughout the series. Arguably their best troll is the Handmaiden’s Ladle. The Handmaiden’s Ladle weapon description is incredibly written, “An ordinary kitchen ladle. He who chooses this as a weapon either faces extenuating circumstances or has an odd sense of humor. If you care for your life, leave this one in the kitchen”. Doing a meager amount of damage the ladle is straight  up useless, however a few masochists out there have astonishingly completed “ladle” only runs. Just the overall absurdness of this weapon lands it at number 10 on my list.

9. Washing Pole

put out the wash son…

What’s better then a normal katana? Why an over sized one! The Washing Pole hit the PvP scene hard, as it provided an incredible amount of reach, damage and speed. The weapon design is pretty plain, however the blade itself is just so incredibly long. This blade together with Alonne’s armor(in the pic), just wonderful. Weapon description, “A katana of unknown origin. Crafted with a peculiar yet refined technique.The extremely long blade allows for strikes from great distance, but its construction makes it extremely fragile.”  Interestingly this weapon made the jump from DS to DS2 and I am glad it did. You will see a common theme emerge throughout this list, that I love ridiculously large weapons.

8. Ivory Straight Sword

I am not the father

Remember above when I said I liked ridiculously large weapons? Well this one is not ridiculously large at all. By now you a saying, “Enrico you’re a size man, why is this sword on your list?” I’m glad you asked. The Ivory Straight Sword, came out with the winter themed Crown of the Ivory King DLC. What is interesting about this weapon(and why it is on the list) is the fact that it is literally the closest you can get to a lightsaber in the Dark Souls 2 universe. When wielding this sword with the proper stats, certain attacks cause the sword to emit a beam of light, damaging those it hits. The design of the hilt is actually super interesting as well as it looks like it was crafted from the tusk of an elephant or rhino, the hilt really sells the whole “Ivory King” theme.

7. Darkdrift

where’s the blade?

Up until now, you are probably pretty bored. The weapons aren’t that interesting, and shouldn’t be on this list. Well aside from being incredibly wrong, I am about to blow your mind. Number 9 on the list was a katana and I have another one for you. Darkdrift is a super unique weapon for one main reason. The blade itself is translucent and only really visible in certain instances(doing an action or putting the camera at a specific angle). I really like this design and think it makes the weapon look incredible. “This katana was originally wielded by the one who gave us first death, and still exists imperfectly between planes.” This description really gets my nerd juices flowing. I think visually this katana looks amazing. The intermitent flashes of the blade add to the overall feel and presentation of the weapon.

6. Gyrm Greataxe

And my axe

Probably the best looking axe in the game is the Gyrm Greataxe. The axe screams interesting design. It has a very ‘Middle Earth’ feel to it. I could easily see Gimli wielding such a weapon. Everything about this weapon is interesting. The dual blades. The unique gold accents. The weapon posture. I could go on and on. “A greataxe used by the nomadic Gyrm. At first glance this greataxe appears crude, but with further examination one sees the fine craftsmanship of Gyrm blacksmiths. Quite heavy for a human, but swung about with reckless abandon by the Gyrm.” Swing away,  Bearer of the Curse, swing away.